Alright, I’m moving back to LA. To make this happen I had to quit my day job so that I could cash out my 401(K) to pay for the move so, it looks like I’m waiting until the end of January to execute my move. People keep panicking over this as though I have any future for which to plan beyond January. Here are some things to keep in mind; I’m the one who knows my finances and not everyone around me who’s mommies and daddies carried them into their twenties and thirties and then inherited their houses and estates, I’ve spent my teens, twenties, and thirties in a series of dead-end no-paying jobs just barely keeping my head not-above-water because of the various frauds my “mother” committed, and then most important, that I’m an abused child who started stand-up in my thirties. My retirement plan has never not been a noose. After my current financial circumstance, not making this play with my 401(K) right now would require me to execute Plan B before my next birthday. And that was the case before I fully committed to moving back home. For the record, the biggest component of this situation is that I was taken advantage by someone I used to call friend. Turns out that American governments and christian churches refuse to help anyone because there’s no money in it. I tried to help someone who pissed away all my money while they refused to get or keep a job for longer than five minutes. I maxed out my credit cards and took out loans to keep a roof over both of our heads for a year and a half while they sat around jerking off on my couch and watching cartoons twenty-four hours a day and ultimately killing my television in the process. For the first four years I owned that television the times it was off was when I was at work or open mics and that asshole killed it in about eight months. I like helping people, I really do. But I’ve never had the money to do so substantively. I didn’t get to go to college so, when I tell people things that are in their best interest but they don’t listen because I don’t have a diploma. A one-hundred and forty-five point IQ doesn’t mean anything to them because “it’s just a number” and they can’t comprehend that it’s a metric for a person’s capacity to take in, process, and utilize information as it applies to relative circumstances and the ability to apply that information to infinitely disparate circumstances. My point beyond this run on paragraph is that over the course of my entire existence I can count on my two hands the rooms in which I wasn’t the smartest and one hand since my dad died twenty-eight years ago this month. Few people around me truly understand that and fewer still that accept it. And none of them are comfortable with it. All this evident by the fact that everyone thinks I’m making a mistake quitting a good job to cash-out my 401(K) while I, having the pertinent information and the knowledge of my circumstance to say nothing of, well, knowledge, everyone around me having no such knowledge are not the least bit qualified to criticize anything I do.
This may seem to be rantey but surely by now you know my style. Here’s something to be more fun now. Whilst packing for the move it turns out that I have about one-hundred and eight gallons of board games and card games each. And one-hundred and sixty-two gallons of books. I’ve always been a single, middle-aged man what’s dying alone but I can’t quite lockdown what this statement says about me. Am I fun and free spirited or pathetically preparing for a time when I may again have friends with whom to play games? Feel free to chime in on this point with your thoughts. Personally, I’m hoping it makes me look fun.
I’ll be working on my various writing projects that I’ve started over the last few years what without the regular distraction of gainful employment. In particular I’m working out the script for my first hour. As of right now I’m operating as though it’ll be titled My Family’s Funeral: the Eulogies I Didn’t Get to Say. Yeah, tons of fun, for everyone! I anticipate an increasing appreciation for dark comedy again. Huzzahs for Tim!
