I have some fun things to talk about here but first, more suicide talk.  A couple weeks ago I went to a movie screening.  I can’t talk about it yet but it’s fantastic and I can’t wait for it to come out!  Walking home from Burbank, though, I crossed over the five and it’s very easy to think things looking over that rail.  It was rather hard for me in that moment.  Just a reminder, talking is always an option.  I’m generally not busy…ever.  Feel free to reach out here, I get it.

     Now then, this post will mostly to jerk off PlutoTV and The X-Files.  Recently PlutoTV, I guess launched a new channel for The X-Files.  Which is just one more reason I love PlutoTV.  This app just keeps getting better.  I even saw the other day that there’s a channel with the Beastmaster series which was among my favorite things at that time.  In no small part because of Samantha Healy’s performance as The Demon Iara…let’s say ‘inspiring’ things for a teenage Tim.  Otherwise, it’s a super fun show.

     The other day the episode, The Post-Modern Prometheus was on.  One of my favorites and I feel underrated.  First, the whole episode is in black and white.  Homage to classic monster movies of the greats, Lon Chaney, Bella Lugosi, and Peter Lorre.  I haven’t read Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein: or the Modern Prometheus so, I missed all the references to it until I read through the trivia section on IMDB.  Some very interesting tidbits there, I recommend the read.  And then there’s John O’Hurley’s performance as a mad scientist.  That man is very funny and he very well pulled off this character.  Now, the biggest thing about this episode is ‘the monster’, The Great Mutato.  A classic ‘monster’ story, great design, phenomenal performance, and a more original story.  Far and away among the greatest episodes of The X-Files and in turn television as a whole.  A great part of that is the performance of Chris Owens.  Before his appearance in this episode he appeared in a couple episodes of The X-Files as “Young Smoking Man” in Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man, which is another of my favorites, and Demons.  After this episode, he comes back as FBI Agent Jeffrey Spender.  Now, I bring this up because Chris Owens, in this episode was The Great Mutato.  Much of his performance was a little cartoony, dancing and singing whilst committing rape.  To be clear, the extreme dichotomy of the scene with tone and action is what I say is cartoonish, not the rape.  In particular, the end of the episode, he delivers a monologue about acceptance and his personal experience in his solitude.  An homage to Mel Brook’s Young Frankenstein.  Also, the make up and prosthesis for Mutato cost $40,000(no specificity whether that dollar amount is in 1997 or adjusted for inflation) and took five to seven hours for application.  Again, according to the IMDB trivia page for this episode.  My point is that Chris Owens is another talented performer who most people don’t know his name.

     That’s pretty much all I wanted to say this go ‘round.  I’m working out getting other things done so, soon I guess.  For whatever that’s worth.  

Not much has been going on here lately.  I’ve worked a couple more small acting gigs, unpaid of course.  That seems to be my wheelhouse so far.  I’m still looking for another “real job”.  I haven’t had any new interviews this week.  I have been consistently donating plasma so, I have a routine to some extent.  I’m planning to get home in the next hour so which will be at minimum thirteen hours ago if you read this exactly when it posts, because linear temporal causality is fun, to sit down and finally record some material.  By the time you read this something may be posted and you can hear me talk about shit again or possibly even see me talk about shit again.  In any case, I could use some input.  By way of video material, it looks like my best options are Youtube and/or Twitch.  I need to know pros and cons for each.  I’ve concerned about Tik Tok for awhile and seeing something from a creator I respect for his work demonstrating that Tik Tok is getting to be exactly as bad as we knew it would be given the recent circumstances.  My objective is to not go out of my way to discuss current affairs in the US right now.  There are plenty of people who are already established doing so and they doing it well.  Rather, I want to talk about fun stuff and entertain.  That said, I’m sure you all know how I feel about censorship and The 1st Amendment.  Anyone who’s half paying attention knows where I stand.  So, yeah, I want to do fun things on here and maybe distract from all the pain and bullshit going on right now.  Just for a minute.  I don’t want anyone numbing themselves when it comes to the bullshit going on.  There’s work to do and if I had the resources to do it myself, I would.  So, there’s that.  Onto other things…again.

     I’ve been looking more into the Transformers RPG.  Renegade Games has been building up and series of TTRPG lines all using the Essence 20 or E20 system.  Transformers, GI Joe, Power Rangers, and even My Little Pony.  My attention was piqued almost a year and a half ago when I was out at Barnes & Noble picking up the new MMVRPG book at that time.  I came across the Beginner’s Box or Starter Set and it looked interesting.  My first step with any of these games is always character creation and the starter set didn’t have that information.  Chatting in the Discord servers I frequent, eventually I found the information I wanted and started building a random generator for creating characters for this game.  Also, I was pointed to a Discord server for Renegade Games games.

     I originally wrote this last week and then forgot to post it when I planned.  So, here it is now.  And I have other things to write to about right now.

I’m starting to think I have a serious problem.  What I’ve heard of the ADHD mind perceiving time seems to be very accurate in my circumstance.  This has been unbelievably consistent in how many months seem to go by between my deciding to do something and then that something still not getting done.  Gee, if only I perhaps had access to a therapist or someone else who could have explained this shit to me when I was a child.  And yes, therapy is yet one more thing I was denied as a child.  Seriously, I wish artie was still alive so I could throw her fat ass down a flight of stairs into a ceiling fan what’s paddles are covered with sandpaper.  Bitch.  Anyway, I really am working to get things going.  And I am at least in equal measure kicking myself in the ass for not starting things six months ago and instead wasting all my time at a shit job that only cost me more and more money.

     Here’s the plan.  First, I’m going to get back to doing this regularly again.  Let’s say I’m starting on that now, DONE!  Next, the podcast.  I’m going to start putting out episodes again by myself.  Likely I’ll talk somewhat about how happy I am to be sharing the road with people who know what they’re doing and how utah is undoubtedly STILL the worst organized demolition derby in existence.  There’s statistically no chance whatsoever that those shit-clowns learned to drive since one of the five competent motorists left.  Aside from that my plan is talk about specific topics in regard to tabletop gaming with focus right now on the Marvel Multiverse RPG.  I’m still looking for players to start up a new game.  With all that I’m looking to start doing stand up again.  My new job I’m thinking may better allow for that right now.  And then after that, I recently had ideas for two new books I’m starting on.  One will be a rule book for life.  As of right now, the title is Rule Book for Life: the Rule Book Everyone Told You Doesn’t Exist.  The concept is essentially common sense far less common today and rules of thumb.  Just a book of good advice and practical information.  The other is a philosophical thesis covering effectively life, death, and everything in between.  Ya know, what the bible was supposed to be up until it was bastardized along with US Constitution by illiterati and party hacks.  So, I’ll be working on those while also revisiting Jim Slater: Bird Detective.

     I’ve been half-assedly running a MMVRPG game on a discord server.  That’s starting to pick up now that I’m actually getting off my ass to do my job on that.  It’s play-by-post and getting to be fun now.  With that I’ve been thinking about taking the story, formatting it consistently and illustrating the story as some sort visual series of artistic images in a specific sequence…I think I’ll call it something like A-line-of-storied-images or something like that.  We’ll see, but in any case, I need to start drawing again too.  Feel free to order commissions.  timflood@comedyshedradio.com

     Also, I forgot to mention this!  In East LA, there’s a Wienerschnitzel that’s still combined with a Fosters Freeze.  If you’re not familiar, Fosters Freeze was among the early adopters of the chocolate dipped soft serve.  Or so I’m thinking based solely and entirely upon my individual, personal experience.  BUT those mad scientist geniuses working for Fosters Freeze have created something truly beautiful…they now have a Froot Loops topping into which they can dip the ice cream.  And it IS SUPER YUMMY!  And that’s the sort of thing I need a ’super caps lock’.  So, yeah, I just wanted you to know that’s a thing in case you didn’t.

I’ve been meaning to get this done for a few weeks but I’ve been having rough time.  I know, everyone has.  It’s hard for me to get up and do the silly stuff I want to right now with everything going on.  I will, though.  I’m getting there.  I’m working up plans and schedules to get things done.  I got another job finally.  It’s not paying what I need right now so, I’m still looking for other possibilities to supplement my circumstance.  Last week I won twenty-eight dollars in the Lottery…it’s a start.  I’ve gotten a couple acting gigs under my belt.  As I write this I’m heading home from one.  Real quick I’m going to write about the not great things I’ve been going through.  Then maybe after that I’ll try and be funny or something.

     So, I didn’t get to practice my 12/31 tradition.  Some of you may be familiar, my dad died on the thirty-first of December.  I honor his memory by getting In-N-Out Burger.  I know, he died from a heart attack and that said, he’d be joining me for a Double-Double and a shake regardless.  I was out of money and couldn’t.  I just got my first paycheck from this new job and I’m thinking I’ll grab some In-N-Out when I get back in the Valley.  Aside from that or concurrent with that, my depressive episode got bad.  I’ve been more than ready to kill myself for the last two months.  Truth be told, the only reason I didn’t is because I still haven’t found a certain video clip to tag what will ultimately be my Note.  Rest assured, when I do get that clip, I am so dead.

     Ok now.  I’ve been going through the Marvel Multiverse RPG Discord, and all the books, and such.  I’ve been writing NPCs, and thinking up game stories.  I’m going to start up the podcast again discussing various topics and I’m thinking I’ll start with character creation for the upcoming episode.  I still need to come up with the following topics.  If anyone has thoughts to that point, feel free to throw at me any suggestions.  Also, I’m going to cover topics on Numenera, World of Darkness, MSHRPG, and any other games we’ve played on the show.

     I’ve been having a lot of fun working on this set the last couple days.  Who knows?  Maybe I’ll actually be able to swing this more professionally.  At any rate, I need to wrap this up and get going with other things.  Until next time, True Believers!

So, I’ve been going through a time rougher than usual.  I’ve been spiraling pretty hard the last couple months.  I still don’t have a job again, things are getting shut off on me, and I’m out of money.  That last job I had for about four months wasn’t paying me what I earned so I left.  I’ve had a few interviews but some of them I couldn’t take because of my car situation and the others I just didn’t get.  Here I am now, my least favorite time of year and I can’t even get myself a cheeseburger to properly grieve.  I mean, I can get one but I’m hanging onto my last fifteen dollars for ‘Plan B’.  Probably this weekend.  When I lose my internet I won’t be able to communicate let alone look for work.  So, yeah, sometime this next week I’ll likely take a walk to In-N-Out, eat my last meal, and then go home to finish things.  I never got to have the few life things I’ve always wanted and now I can’t even get a job so as to barely survive.  I’m very tired and there just isn’t much reason to keep going on.  The simple truth is that in my experience people typically look for reasons to live, many spend their existence looking for reasons to not die, lately I can’t find any reason to not kill myself.  These are important distinctions that most people don’t consider.

     Really the only problem I’m having with this decision is logistical.  It’s a terrible waste for these useful organs to just die and wind up as ash or as practice for dissection.  But seeing as I’ve never died before I know how to time things so I’m found soon enough to maintain viability for transplant.  There’s a fifty percent chance of compatibility so, my organs would be pretty handy to transplant.  At any rate, if anyone wants to lend me about four thousand dollars, that’ll buy me another better still, if anyone can put me in touch with Martin Gero, I have a pitch for the new Stargate series.  I have a way to tie in all the previous series AND move forward without getting hung up on all the established lore but still respecting it.  A couple broad strokes: The real reason behind inventing the human-form replicators and a rogue faction of the Alterans fleeing to other galaxies.  There, just a taste to hopefully pique Martin Gero’s interest.  So, go, now and get this in front of him so I can maybe get a job writing for my third or second favorite thing of all time.

     In any case, thanks for being there and humoring me all you have.  Excelsior and all that.