Some bad news yesterday, I mean aside from the ongoing “governmental” bullshit.  The news broke that Michelle Trachtenberg died yesterday.  She’s a talented performer who started acting as a child and was a good actor compared with adults.  From what I saw, as a child myself and not in-the-know, she always seemed to hold her own performing with adults on screen as a child actor.  If I recall correctly, Harriet the Spy was her first movie or at least her first starring role in a movie.  She was in at least one or two Nickelodeon shows before that and then she worked on a number of shows and movies right up until just a couple years ago.  In particular she made Buffy the Vampire Slayer interesting to me again.  I always had a huge crush on her.  She’s another one of those performers that you never hear about being a jackass.  It seems to me that everyone enjoyed working with her and just being around her.  When someone so genuine and loved dies it’s sad enough and when they’re so young, as I’m told thirty-nine to be, the tragedy compounds.  She was always someone I wanted to meet but reading the things that people are writing about their experiences with her, I know I truly missed out.  I didn’t think this was going to be any kind of tribute but I don’t really want to write anything else here.  I’m thinking I’m just gonna call it and try to figure out how to funny on something else.

This has been a week.  I finally started packing in the studio.  I’m still nowhere near packed but I’m getting closer.  I’ve pretty much worked out the biggest thing in there, now I need to deal with the second biggest thing in that room, the production desk.  Two monitors, mac mini, audio board, video switcher, about a quarter mile of cables and adapters, and then the two or three pieces of furniture holding all that.  I think I may need to invest in one of those transport pods to get the most of this done sooner and then figure out the rest later.  And yeah, I thought it would be cooler to talk about a transport pod to move my shit too but here we are.  The mundanity of transport pods is exceeded only by the monetary cost to use it.  ”What a bleak and horrible future we live in!!!”

     I’ve been watching The Magicians the last few days.  A solid show, if you’re not familiar.  Last night I got to the part of the series where Quentin dies…or does he…just watch it so I don’t have to talk around the spoilers…the whole series is on Tubi now…I’ll wait…done now?  Good.  Yeah, he dies.  One of those things I relate to and NO, not because we’re both nerdy, useless, white guys.  Because of the lifetime of mental illness and suicidal ideation that tends to come with all that.  Watching it this time hit me differently than usual.  And when I say ‘differently’, I mean harder.  Turns out I have about four years more baggage than I had the last time.  And while this is not actually my therapy session, I’m sure I’ll be sharing more than I should at some point.

     A more pressing matter.  I haven’t yet locked down a new apartment aside from being miles away from done packing.  I’m thinking I may need another month to work out all the details for moving.  That could line up things better for one option of a place to live but I don’t want to put off moving any longer than I already have.  I can’t wait to get out of here but of course there is benefit to leveling ones’ shot.  In any case I need to get off my ass and start working on my projects again.  I haven’t written anything more than these few posts for a couple weeks again.  I have been working on some resources for our podcast games instead of getting done anything I need to.  Also, it turns out that some new evidence has been found and points to, allegedly, a more clear suspect in the Ripper murders, which of course in mind shoots down the idea for my one project that I barely started and was getting to, ya know, soon.  Bah!  I’m sure I’ll still finish it.  I’m just pissed that I didn’t get to solve the case like I planned.  Alright, I may take a nap now and start again packing later.

I was a bit “under the weather” the other day.  To be clear, I had a minor migraine and some tummy trouble.  Checking notes, yes, clinical terminology, tummy trouble.  That’s why I didn’t post on Tuesday.  Aside from that I’m having some trouble with things.  I’ve lost pretty much all the momentum I was building in practicing productive routine.  I am exercising with Fitbod five days a week, and I’ve only missed a few days out of the last forty-five practicing on Duolingo.  I have not, however, gone out to open mics regularly.  I haven’t been writing everyday like I planned.  I’m not even close to done packing.  This whole week so far my sleeping has been fucked out right.  I could use some advice to this point of structuring and maintaining the good habits I started around the end of December.  Feel free to offer any tips you may have.  There are a few ways to get in touch.  The contact page on this site, instagram, bluesky, just look around I’m there somewhere.

     I did halfassedly start kind of cleaning the other day.  Did you guys know that Mr. Clean, the corporation owning that brand and not the actual ‘Mr. Clean’, if ever there was one, makes a new Magic Eraser that uses a “handy grip”?  I got a “starter kit”, they say starter kit and it’s just a foam handle and one Magic Eraser.  It’s less a kit and more of a sample.  That said, I’ve always been of the mind that Magic Erasers get super-fucking-gross very fast and that after using one for two minutes I don’t want to touch it anymore.  Not unlike many women on a date with me.  I get it, I tend to sweat a lot.  But that’s not the point.  This product should’ve been and in all likelihood was created about two minutes after the Magic Eraser.  I will admit that finding this product the other day I did buy it, and about three or four days later I finally used it and now my shower is marginally less disgusting.  At this rate, I’ll moved out by February 27, 2057.  Also, the Magic Eraser Grip works well, the erasers stick to the face of it with some pseudo-velcro thing, it holds really well considering how deep was the grime in my shower.  The thing I’m waiting for is the Clorox toilet bowl flame thrower.  I don’t see how anything less can clean that toilet now.

     I have been putting some work into my player aids, I guess we can call them, for the games I run primarily for the podcast.  I have some material for that by the way, and I’m thinking I’ll actually sit down and edit now.  I made a couple versions already of these aids already but then I noticed, of course after I finished them, but there issues with text size, and the clarity of scanning some of the original texts resulted in numerous spelling errors and other structural issues.  I went through everything and corrected all that and now I’m remaking all the charts with larger images so that if I ever get to the point of printing them, they’ll be readable.  I’ve replaced a handful of those power charts now but there’s still a bit of work I need to do.  And then I finally looked into it and the information I’ve found is that the Spider-verse Expansion for the Marvel Multiverse RPG is supposed to be released on March 18, 2025.  I can’t wait for this one!  I looked at the entry for it on Barnes & Noble and among the pages previewed there are character sheets for The Lizard, who was always one of my top ten Spider-man villains, and a character sheet for Spider-punk.

     By the time this posts, I would like to think that I actually got up and started doing things I need to do right now.  But I anticipate that I in fact, got up and walked back into my bedroom and started watching TV again.  God damn it I am lazy shit pig.  I WILL start muling out some of the mountains of trash throughout my apartment and rethink some things in my life.  Alright, you all have fun, I’ll write again for next Tuesday and ideally by then I will have gotten my shit together and accomplished something.  Until then, I guess, we’ll see.

I’m having conversations with people about apartments now.  I got a call back earlier and I’ll be sending out more feelers tonight and ideally more conversations tomorrow about some of the apartments I’m looking at.  I can’t wait to get home.  I’ve been thinking more about running a food truck too.  Anyone who has suggestions, feel free to throw them out to me.  One thing I’m thinking is simple burgers and fries, and such.  I’m thinking about different recipes for the beef, cheeses, the usual toppings, perhaps some less usual toppings.  I had some thoughts about incorporating some Laotian cuisine.  I may work in some of that gradually after things get going.  Who knows?  Maybe I’ll work up burgers influenced by other cuisine.  We’ll see.  I may try out some recipes while I finally get packing here.

     Now that I’ve had a conversation about an apartment I can visualize more effectively how I’m going to decorate and ideally configure my new studio.  I’m watching White Collar and I’ve been thinking about trying my hand at painting.  I’ve thought about that from time to time and just haven’t taken the time to invest into it.  I intend to get a drawing table but maybe I’ll get an easel and some paint too.  As a child most of my art was pencil and ink on common white paper.  I never really worked with colors until I started illustrating on my iPads.  I was always interested in painting but I didn’t want to invest the time, energy, and resources into something like that just for it to suck.  Also, I’ve been catching a lot of videos on instagram and all where people are painting and mixing colors.  It’s pretty interesting seeing how so many different artists employ so many different techniques and accomplishing such extraordinary results.  I just don’t know what I would want to start painting.  The obvious would be comic characters.  Super heroes and such.  We’ll see, though, over the next few months.  I may add painting to my repitoire.

     I can’t wait to be back home.  I was never fond of the heat but the valley will always be home.  Walking Oxnard Blvd. and stopping at 7 Eleven for some “nachos” on my way home from my high school.  My nightly pilgrimage to In-N-Out.  Walking through VNSO in the middle of the night after In-N-Out.  So many years I’ve lost being stuck in this shit hole state.  I’m genuinely excited…I think is the word.  I’m not used to presenting ‘positive’ emotions.  Just a few more weeks and I can start to salvage this bullshit existence.  And now it’s time to start making things happen.  

Yesterday I was having a little tummy trouble.  I decided to order some food seeing as I had no interest in getting up out of bed.  My tummy feeling better enough to try something new, I ordered something from Noodles & Company.  It was pretty good.  I ordered some Chipotle Chicken Cavatappi, Cheesy Garlic Bread, and a Rice Crispy Treat.  The pasta was a solid dish.  It has some good spice and the noodles were prepared perfectly.  It’s pretty hard to screw up cheese, garlic, and bread, that said, the Cheesy Garlic Bread is really yummy.  I have to say, though, THE best part was the Rice Crispy Treat!!!  First, that thing was the size of my hand.  It was almost a team lift.  I could barely hoist it to my mouth.  Again, fucking huge was this Rice Crispy Treat.  Then, it was fresh.  It must’ve been made that afternoon.  It was so soft and chewy I had to check my kitchen and make and make sure they didn’t sneak in and use my oven to make it here.  Long story, short, I think I’ll order from Noodles & Company again in the future.

     In other news, I mean news in so much that sometimes things happen here.  I think I just finished an entire tube of toothpaste.  Myself, beginning to end.  I think this is a first.  My entire life there were other people, or the tube was thrown away when it was almost gone, or I get bored and buy a different toothpaste only to get home and find that I still have half a tube.  Maybe I’ve managed to finish a tube before now but I don’t recall.  I get this may not seem like a big success, or a casual success, or even a real one but I don’t have anything else right now.  I’m a single middle-aged man what’s dying alone and only just now moving back to a real city when I’m too old and decrepit for worthwhile women to be attracted to me.  And yes, that sentence would sound less run-on and more comically rambling if you heard me read it out loud.  

     I’ve been thinking about work things the last couple days.  I was reminded earlier that food trucks are a thing.  What then would be an interesting food truck?  What is something that hasn’t been done in a food truck?  I was thinking that a truck making bag lunches would be fun.  I wouldn’t necessarily need to be cooking anything.  At first anyway.  Also, I could swing that one with a Vanagon and that would be a good excuse for me to buy a Vanagon.  Alright, I need a nap and some other things right now.  Until next time.