When I was a child, my dad taught me many important things. How to fix things. How to know when things needed to be fixed. The difference between cost and value. How to recognize what is right and to do that. He not only taught that I shouldn’t be afraid but rather how to NOT be afraid. Through his example I saw that it wasn’t enough to be better than everyone else but that I had to be Good. Many of these things I didn’t understand until after he died. I was twelve then. Many more of these things I didn’t understand until recently, twenty years after he died.
I didn’t know how to cope at first. The first few years were difficult. Arguably, they rest since then weren’t easier. I’ve given up many, many times. I tried to kill myself some of those times. It didn’t work. I had only a few people I could turn to for help. My “mother” was never one of them. I was talented, intelligent, attractive, and perpetually alone. I was expelled from multiple high schools. I had attended the funerals of family members and mentors, and chief among them, my dad. Who was the utmost of both. And by my “mother”, I was robbed of money and opportunities. Beaten and degraded on a daily basis. And as far as I can tell made an accessory to at least a minimum of a dozen counts of various frauds through her theft of my identity.
In August of 1962, a comic book was released for purchase. Amazing Fantasy #15, the first appearance of The Amazing Spider-man! A young boy was bitten by a radioactive spider and given the amazing powers of the creature. His first acts with these incredible new abilities was to make money. Become rich and famous. And of course somebody else tried to take advantage of him. He chose not to do the right thing because the wrong thing hurt the person who hurt him. Later on because of his choice his Uncle Ben was murdered. Peter Parker then started to understand the simple truth his uncle had always told him. “With great power must come great responsibility.” Peter Parker was talented, intelligent, attractive, and often times alone. This seemed familiar.
In 1962 a comic book portrayed the story of a child experiencing some the hardest lessons of life that even today few truly comprehend, and thirty-four years later almost word for word told my own story. The times when I had no will to continue living, the times when I had so little strength I physically could not lift myself up off the floor, nights when I sat in the dark weeping because I had nothing else I could do, I would look at Spider-man and see myself.
Stan Lee and Steve Ditko created a super hero who failed, was flawed, and gave up when he failed because he was flawed. Peter Parker quit being Spider-man. Many times. And then he stepped up did what he needed to do. F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote “You show me a hero and I’ll write you tragedy.” I learned that from an episode of Spider-man. This comic book character showed me that my pain, my tragedy was important perhaps necessary to be better than I was. To be good. And that it would keep going. Fitzgerald said nothing about writing the end of any hero. I kept going, despite myself. Spider-Man persisted for many decades now and so have I.
Steve Ditko passed away this last June [2018] and Stan Lee passed away today, 12 November 2018. I missed many opportunities to thank them in person for what they’ve done over the years so, I’m doing this now. I couldn’t be who I am now, I probably wouldn’t be alive right now if not for the motivation I gleaned from this cartoon. Thanks, Stan and Steve! EXCELSIOR!
